The existential dilemma of the men's clutch bag

The life of every man is spent trying to appear more manly. This becomes a problem in a society that simply never anticipated that men would have to carry around items like bunches of keys, cell phones, wallets, and so on. Every summer, the problem reoccurs: when it's too hot to wear a jacket, where to put all your "necessaries" while still saving face? The toughest warriors simply stuff everything in their pockets, allowing the rectangular outlines of cell phones and wallets to stick out of their jeans, ignoring all appearances; others save themselves with cargo pants, filling the pockets to the brim and resigning themselves to the somewhat adolescent vibe of the model; while a sizeable group of highlanders still dares to carry the dreadful man bag that hangs inertly at their side like a tired appendage. Streetwear has given the most nostalgic the fanny pack: the style laggards wear it on their chest as if it were a bulletproof vest; the most indifferent to others' opinions wear it in front, and the pragmatists wear it on the back side of the hip – semi-hidden but with mixed results. Finally, we get to the extremists: those who, to avoid looking ridiculous or carrying anything resembling a purse, wear a backpack. Lastly, there are the men who, having done everything to avoid a traditionally understood bag due to its clear feminine associations, end up using the most feminine thing of all: the handbag, also known as a pouch, pouch, or clutch. And now we will talk about them.

Is it really the most practical men's bag?

To be clear: any bag equipped with handles or shoulder straps is not a clutch, which is instead equipped with a sort of handle to hang it on the wrist, at most. It's easy to see why many succumb to the temptation of using one. After refusing to be a man who walks around with a bag, and after years of difficulty spent strategically placing their belongings in the most discreet pockets, being able to throw everything into a single bag and walk out happy and light is a great relief. This explains the spike in searches involving the men's clutch online: 33.1 thousand monthly searches on Google in Italy alone, with the three hottest questions being: “how to match”, “how to wear”, “how to carry”. Nonetheless, classic male elegance should be sought in the synthesis of style and functionality – hence to understand which is the best bag format to choose, one must refer to the most practical. This reasoning almost immediately excludes the clutch: if the goal is to be unencumbered and keep your hands free, a clutch without a shoulder strap or worse to be worn on the wrist like a handcuff undoubtedly hampers movement. The funny part is that small and large brands have started to add a small handle, a small strap to clutches, that collection by collection get ever closer to a kind of stylised bag. One day the circle will close, and a men's clutch identical to a handbag will appear, and many will realize how far they've come.

In human history, men's bags have generally been hung at the waist in the form of more or less decorated pouches hanging from the belt; the rest of the men's bags through history have been inspired either by functional designs like the briefcase or the military world. None of these designs were devoid of handles or shoulder straps, as seen, while those to be held by hand have historically been evening minaudières. The oldest preserved women's bag today, namely the Courtauld bag created between 1300 and 1330 in modern Iraq, was indeed an ancestor of today's minaudière, obviously devoid of any grip. But obviously, in 2024, one cannot rely on historical gender distinctions. At most, these can demonstrate how the usage direction of the modern clutch, a sort of mix between a makeup case and an evening bag that, due to its “ceremonial” function, can afford not to be practical given that any strap thicker than a thread belongs to a business dimension. To make matters worse, sub-luxury brands have made these bags more "virile" with designs of eagles, golden lion medallions, hip-hop style writings, also trying to market them as a somewhat streetwear accessory. In this sense, Kylian Mbappé gave marketers a wonderful assist by traveling far and wide with his Dior and Goyard clutches and sanctifying their status.

So what to use instead?

The safest solution is a shoulder strap bag – a shoulder strap that must be very thin and attached to a bag that, like several men's clutches, must have the most sober shape possible, the most compact and understated volume, which must be almost invisible. In these cases, it can also be worn across the chest, but considering that, by making it more visible, the aesthetics of the bag (but also its weight, as it could distort the volumes of the top) will weigh more heavily on the success of the look. The idea is still to be casual, uninvolved, free of any hindrance, and certainly with free hands. A micro variation of the messenger model is ideal in this sense. Just think of Jacob Elordi, who has made men's bags a true art. Instead, the canvas tote bag or other materials should be excluded, which is fine until six in the evening but looks sloppy after sunset. A bit like nutmeg in cooking or jealousy in love, the men's bag must be there but should not be felt. And that clutch is frankly felt too much.