Is Gen-Z suffering from a crisis of solitude?

With tears in his eyes, Serge, a young 20-year-old Parisian, opens up in a TikTok video about the loneliness he is going through, especially due to the difficulty of making new friends in a city he just moved to. He explains: “I just arrived in Paris, and I’m making this video because I feel very alone. I’d like to make friends, to meet nice people because it’s becoming hard to be alone." He goes on: “I make music, I do photography, I love the 60s, 70s, 80s, La Boum. I’m just looking for friends who are passionate, kind, willing to be friends with someone new. I don’t know how to make friends anymore. I miss being a kid.” It’s hard not to have a broken heart seeing the video, which today has 2.5 million views and nearly 10,000 comments. Clearly touched by Serge’s vulnerability, many netizens who share this loneliness have responded to his call, offering to meet up in real life and socialize. A few days later, the TikToker posted a new video where he is seen smiling, surrounded by a crowd of people he met thanks to his post. He had previously expressed: “I wasn’t expecting to receive so many messages; it touches me a lot. My heart wasn’t ready to receive so much love.”

Despite the positive outcome of this heartwarming story, it reveals the sad reality of a society facing a true epidemic of loneliness. In 2023, the WHO (World Health Organization) declared loneliness an urgent global health threat. According to Dr. Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, social isolation has consequences as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes or drinking six glasses of alcohol daily. In France, 6.6 million young people aged 16 or older suffered from social isolation in 2015 according to INSEE. A study by the Fondation de France found that 5 million French people were “in a situation of loneliness” in 2017, including 2 million between 15 and 30 years old, or 18% of this age group, were “socially vulnerable, rarely physically meeting or spending time with other people.” 700,000, or 6% of those aged 15-30, even lived in total social isolation. In 2020, the period of lockdown further affected young people feeling lonely, with almost three-quarters of young respondents saying they were “psychologically, emotionally, or physically affected” in a survey by the IFOP institute. The reasons for these troubling numbers are varied: financial hardship that limits social outings, as well as social media that gives a false sense of connection while virtual ties cannot replace real-life relationships. 

Serge is not the only young person who has openly spoken about his lack of a social life on social media. On TikTok, there is a myriad of content on the topic under the hashtag #pasdami. In these videos, some of which reach up to 1 million views, young people express both sadness and bitterness over the difficulty of living with few or no friends. For example, @john3 opens up about the loneliness he feels when he wants to go out and enjoy the good weather but has no friends to accompany him. Even a well-known influencer like EnjoyPhoenix, followed by 3.6 million on YouTube, shares her experiences with friendships in a video that has reached 640,000 views. The comments empathize with the influencer, who has long struggled to maintain friendships. These vulnerable testimonials corroborate statistics showing that a significant number of young people experience unwanted loneliness. As Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychology and neuroscience professor at Brigham Young University, explains: “Loneliness is more than just isolation: It’s the subjective experience of needing more social interaction than one currently has. It is not binary, and no one is immune.”

The stereotypical image of lonely people is often limited to that of an unmarried woman living with cats. Yet, this false image obscures a much more complex reality where anyone can experience loneliness. To increase the chances of meeting new people, there are solutions like Bumble BFF, an app specifically for making new friends, or attending Meetups, social events available in various cities. However, one of the factors complicating socialization in adulthood is the lack of time due to work. It’s also essential to highlight that social interaction needs vary for each person. Some will be content with a phone call a few times a week with their best friend, while others need outings with new acquaintances every Friday. The important thing is to recognize and accept one's social needs and then take action. Breaking the stigma is also a necessary step, albeit a challenging one, to openly discuss it. In a hyper-connected world that gives the illusion of easy encounters, it has never been so crucial to look out for each other.