Slowmance, the new dating trend in the LGBTQIA+ community

In an era where “ghosting” and “situationships” are commonplace, a new trend seems to be emerging among the LGBTQIA+ community: “slowmance”. The term was coined by the dating app Hinge, which first mentioned it in its report on the romantic behaviors of the queer community, published this month. Hinge defines “slowmance” as “dating someone more consciously by slowing down the pace, setting clear boundaries, and establishing intentions.”

Hinge’s D.A.T.E 2024 report analyzes that “For LGBTQIA+ daters, modern dating can bring a wave of unique challenges, from exploring queerness for the first time to coming out to friends and family.” The Hinge team states that opting for a slowmance can “help individuals build a solid foundation and make choices that lead to an easier dating process in a world that sometimes feels far too complicated.” But how do you embark on a slowmance? Hinge advises starting with a gentle approach. Hinge's study showed that only 20% of LGBTQIA+ users prefer to avoid “small talk” and ask a deep question at the start of the conversation. The team recommends that the first conversations be light, positive, and engaging. The second piece of advice is to plan low-pressure dates. These are dates where the primary goal is to get to know the person in a relaxed environment where intimate conversations are possible.

This will make it easier to assess the potential chemistry before moving forward. Clubs, parties, and cinemas tend to be the least favored places for first dates, while cafes are the most preferred, followed by bars and restaurants. Moe Ari Brown, a licensed therapist and love expert at Hinge, states: “Dating can be particularly complex for queer daters, for many reasons. Opting for a slowmance helps LGBTQIA+ individuals cultivate emotional intimacy and build the solid foundations needed to navigate these complexities.”