The sex of the French is not what it used to be

Welcome to the fascinating – and sometimes puzzling – universe of sexual recession in France. If Maïa Mazaurette explored the principles of the asexual revolution among 15- to 24-year-olds in 2022, it was recently the president himself who summoned the press to debate our habits under the covers. A call for sexuality under the guise of "demographic rearmament" that has not failed to outrage many citizens, including us. Meanwhile, a series of studies – including one conducted by Ifop for the LELO sex toy brand – delivers the fatal blow by highlighting the significant decline in sexual activity in France. In the past 12 months alone, 76% of French people on average have had intercourse, a decrease of 15 points since 2006 and the last major survey on the subject, a proportion that has never been lower in fifty years. This phenomenon, which transcends generations and seeps into daily life, raises questions about ongoing societal changes. Why on earth are the French having less sex than they did 20 years ago? Has being sexually active become passé? Have incels been proven right? From changing social norms to the insidious influence of screens, and the post #MeToo repercussions, let's delve into the analysis of this new sexual apathy that shapes the intimate reality of contemporary France.

Farewell to the medieval view of sexuality, imbued with the duty of procreation

Although our society is rooted in its Judeo-Christian heritage, a progressive emancipation is emerging from the ideologies that have long accompanied it. A major trend is emerging, shaping the complex web of human relationships: the increasing dissociation between marriage and sexuality. Traditional expectations are fading, making way for a redefinition of marriage where sexual obligation loses its automatic nature, giving rise to more flexible marital relationships. There is a growing disinterest in sex, as individuals attach less importance to sexual activity in favor of a quest for personal fulfillment. In the surveyed individuals, for example, 54% of women and 42% of men state that they could live with someone in a purely platonic relationship.

The success of a couple no longer relies entirely on its exciting sex life. We particularly applaud the increasing acceptance of asexuality, with the emergence of unconventional lifestyles less bound by traditional norms. While it had long been invisible, it affects approximately 1% of the world population; in France, it is embraced by 12% of the population, up to 23% among women aged 70 and over. Its increasing acceptance notably contributes to the democratization of new sexual behaviors, such as chosen abstinence outside of religious frameworks, and contributes to the normalization of the absence of sexual desire. As Maïa Mazaurette has aptly demonstrated, the rise of sexual inactivity particularly affects the youth – over a quarter of young adults aged 18 to 24 admit to not having had intercourse in a year, five times more than in 2006. While our elders may categorize us as timid loners, terrified of any human contact, we see it as a true liberation. Far from the stifling constraints of sexual performance imposed by the pornographic universe, and escaping the stereotypical image of young adults constantly obsessed. It is with tangible satisfaction that we participate in dismantling obsolete social pressures for an active sex life, where communication and genuine desire finally take the reins.

Consent, the cornerstone of sexuality

In the tumultuous arena of contemporary sexuality, post #MeToo has emerged as a cultural revolution. Forget about the sordid patterns of old-fashioned flirting and murky expectations; the norms of consent and desire have undergone a rejuvenation. It's as if the world has finally understood, with a few exceptions, that consent is non-negotiable, that it is the very foundation of any intimate interaction. Indeed, the numbers are there to prove it: 82% of young adults consider consent non-negotiable in their relationships. Women, in particular, have spoken up and loudly assert that they will no longer conform to outdated expectations. According to a recent survey, over 70% of women interviewed state that they no longer feel constrained by traditional norms regarding sexual life, compared to previous generations, they are much less inclined to engage in sexual intercourse. A realization magnified by the undeniable rise in women's financial autonomy.

The data reveals a 25% increase in women asserting a greater influence over their sexual life choices due to their financial autonomy. Once confined to predefined roles, they no longer feel bound by the marital contract in which sex was a kind of currency. We also witness a true revolution, where the priority is no longer the number of experiences, but the authentic exploration of one's intimacy. Gone are the days of endless races towards unattainable ideals, current statistics delineate a new landscape where over 70% of young adults proclaim their preference for a qualitative approach to sex. While the saying "It's better to be alone than in bad company" may sound bitter when uttered by a single woman, nearly 63% of women who choose abstinence do so primarily due to the absence of attractive partners in their eyes. Meanwhile, 61% of men admit that their lack of sexual activity stems from an inability to generate interest, to find someone willing to share intimate moments with them. Gentlemen, it seems that it's time for some introspection.

More Netflix, less chill

The meteoric rise of streaming platforms, video games, and social networks paints a new picture of relationships, where the passion for pixels sometimes seems to outweigh passion itself. By surveying the habits of young cohabiting couples, it appears that nearly 50% of men, compared to 42% of women, admit to sacrificing a moment of intimacy for a series marathon, often on platforms like Netflix or OCS. This devotion to screens extends to other corners of pleasure, with video games embodying a preference affirmed by 53% of men under 35 in a relationship, relegating sexual intimacy to a secondary position. Social networks, too, take their share of the cake, with 48% of men under 35 in a relationship favoring them, thus testifying to the undisputed rise of screens. These new preferences mark a trend of the "cannibalization" of time once dedicated to lovemaking, elevating screens to formidable competitors. As for singles, this intensive screen consumption would similarly lead them to stay home and limit opportunities for meetings and more if there's a connection.

However, it is crucial to recognize that we live in a time where practically everything can be delivered to your doorstep with a simple click, whether it's food or potential partners. While screens may be perceived as rivals in established relationships, they also act as accomplices, facilitating encounters and transforming the landscape of singledom into a true playground for the most seasoned singles. Thus, the sexual recession in France, far from being a one-dimensional phenomenon, is the complex result of multiple influences, from changing mindsets to the impact of digital activities. Indeed, we may be having less sex, but better! Our notion of intimacy is evolving, and we are simply adapting to change. One thing is certain, if the country is heading for ruin, we are not the main cause.