Sanremo, The Ferragnez and the inevitable parable of the narcissist

In the aftermath of The Ferragnez's Sanremo special, the whole country feels a certain sense of perplexity. Faced with the full unfolding of events, in front of and outside the scenes, this first world problem infused family saga paints a deeply ambiguous portrait of Italy's most Instagram famous modern family. Both seem completely absorbed by their own professional goals (rightly so) to the point of not realising that the prerequisite for the realisation of their ambitions as individuals necessarily erodes, objectively or subjectively as the case may be, those of the other. Fedez, while declaring himself proud of his wife and eager to support her, feels the need (conscious or unconscious) to assert his own independence and autonomy: we discover that the much-discussed kiss with Rosa Chemical was premeditated in an episode of Muschio Selvaggio, as were the inferences against the institutions in a gesture that Fedez himself defines as 'throwing himself into the fire'. Moreover, the very tones in which he openly praises Ferragni only to respond to her privately with coldness over the phone suggest that he has suffered from his ancillary position and for this he seems to have been widely punished, both in the episode's narrative and by the media. As for her, one cannot help but think that if she had not mounted a drama in front of the famous kiss with Rosa Chemical, the topic would have soon deflated - her exasperated emotionality, the rituals of positive energy, the implicit and absolute importance accorded to her career suggest that she is no less narcissistic than he is. A classic case, in short, of the «Why are you toghether?». Let's take a step back.

Power dynamics are at the basis of any relationship, from the relationship with our dog to that with strangers or shopkeepers. Everyday we are by nature inclined to cede or conquer ground in soft power dynamics that we constantly, inexorably and above all unconsciously put in place. Beyond assessments of the personalities of both, which it is not for us to judge, it is interesting to note the dynamic that leads both to rotate in a vicious circle that leads to the inevitable explosion of a conflict that is never problematic in itself («It's not about the kiss»), but for its implications, ramifications and underlying meanings. In this case: trust, the ability to step aside, the giving way. When the couple discuss their problems on the couch, both speak in a constant and exhausting first person, when she explains why she felt hurt (i.e. talking about herself) Fedez plays the card «The things I went through are not easy»  claiming in turn a situation of implicit protagonism. The unspoken question hovering in the room, however, is who is the more important and in need of support of the two - but by reasoning this way, at the end of the day, the outcome will always be about one, never both. Can a power couple be composed of individuals acting in such distinct ways?

But perhaps the power couple dynamic is the problem itself: as long as they operated in their respective and separate spheres, there were no disturbances. But together, for better or worse, they became the stars of the new media-driven national-popular Italy. When you think about how problematic a power couple, understood as a binary power system, can be (and Jonathan Zenti's latest podcast episode discusses this), it's easy to imagine how the Ferragnez might feel mutually constrained by their respective ambitions. Neither of them is right or wrong to focus on themselves, and they don't seem to suffer from pathological narcissism as many claim. But no one addresses how to function as a unit, not just as a couple of individuals. If they are an effective power couple, the difference in their target audience and content's "intended use" (Ferragni clearly aims for seriousness and maturity, while Fedez focuses on humor and virality) must necessarily move in opposite directions—her towards seriousness and institutionalism, and him towards playfulness, which are like two horses pushing in opposite directions.

Now, this drama has polarized general attention - but why? Because we, as an audience, identify with power dynamics that, after all, also play out in our own relational lives? In their case, the system of equal narcissism in the power couple works thanks to the extensive support network of psychologists, staff, and image consultants - but in real life, the same problem may not arise. In the exhausting pursuit of supremacy, with women asserting authority and men not wanting to become, to quote Juvenal, "the wife of their own wife," we don't know how the Ferragnez will resolve their issues, only that those issues also belong to the rest of the world. It's a shame that the "rest of the world" often doesn't have a ready-to-use couples therapist to seek catharsis, which, more often than not, remains elusive.